


burn the last flower for me

by ackerwhat



Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: A LOT of Angst, Angst, Character Death, Drabble Collection, M/M, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-26
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-08-29 16:59:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16747960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ackerwhat/pseuds/ackerwhat
Summary: Nielwoon Angst Drabbles! Yayy!Title from Wanna One's Flowerbomb.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 1\. burn it up  
> 2\. beautiful, part II  
> 3\. i'll remember  
> 4\. one's place

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one to four.  
> out of eleven.

* * *

**_Nielwoon Angst Drabble!_ **

**-**

**-**

**-**

**one:** burn it up (255w)

 

“No…” The building was burning, engulfed in a fire so big, the clear sky was blackened with the smoke. He was trembling, shaking, and not a single sound came out from his mouth.

Without him realising it, his feet moved. One, _two_ , _three steps_ , “No!” He staggered forward, barely be able to run a few meters ahead before someone grabbed him around his middle.

“You’ll die.”

“Let me go!” He struggled. Trashing blindly against the firm hold, eyes still strained on the burning building. He felt the flame embracing him with its heat and his vision was then obscured by firefighters. More than one of them. “Let me go!”

 _Sungwoon is, Sungwoon is still inside_ — Daniel held the arms that were pinning him down. He turned around, tears straining, chars of black ruining his face. _Fuck_. He couldn’t breathe. He gripped Jisung’s arm, “Sungwoon hyung is inside!”

“You’ll die!”

“If he dies, I die.” He said. “Please.”

His love, his whole life, his Sungwoon hyung was in there. _Please_ , he begged. _If he dies, I die_ … Jisung denied him with a shake of his head, a stern ‘no’ but Daniel couldn’t care less. He shoved Jisung away, before getting barricaded by the officers in the scene. _He could do this_ , he decided, _he’s strong_.

He managed. Escaped their hold, ran a few more steps before getting caught once more. Pinned down to the ground, forced to submission as they tackled him to security. “ _No…_!”

In front of them, just a second later, the building exploded.

**-**

**-**

**-**

* * *

 

 **two** : beautiful, part II (398w)

 

“ _Daniel…”_

“Daniel!”

He rose up from his bed, heart thumping so loudly against his chest. He felt hot all over, and he was sweating, trickles of dampness forming over his forehead, his neck, his back, _god_ , his hands…he was basically quivering.

“Daniel?” A voice woke him up from his momentary stun.

It was Sungwoon.

Sungwoon was smiling at him, ever so pretty, ever so elegant, and he was freshly out of shower. His hair was wet and he was still garbed in the expensive hotel bathrobe. Again, Daniel was rendered speechless as he observed his love. “Hyung…” He dumbly called.

“You were groaning in your sleep.” Sungwoon stated. Getting closer, Sungwoon held a hand over Daniel’s forehead. He flipped his hand around, checking Daniel’s temperature, on his lower cheeks, going down to grip his hand, and frowning when he found that the younger was sweating like he’d been spending hours in the sauna.

“Bad dream?”

“A nightmare.” Daniel answered, confessed.

“Hm,” Sungwoon leaned back. “Is this a bad sign then?”

Daniel chuckled at his hyung’s words. He shook his head. “No, it’s just… it’s probably because of the video I watched last night before I slept.” Sungwoon nodded his head. Daniel kept on staring at him and he needed to stop before he ended up crazier than he’d been. “Come on, hyung,” He nudged, “Let’s get ready.”

When Sungwoon followed his movement in confusion, Daniel reminded him, “The wedding? The big day, hyung!”

“Ah, yes!” Sungwoon broke into a grin. Daniel smiled back and he couldn’t help but to steal one kiss on Sungwoon’s cheek. “Hey!”

“It’s my last gift to you, hyung.” Daniel insisted.

 

“Whose last gift to whom?” Another voice appeared. Sungwoon and Daniel looked up and saw Seongwoo appearing in a similar bathrobe as Sungwoon’s. Daniel could piece two and two together. He drew back and made way as Seongwoo scooped Sungwoon into his hold. He spun them around, making the older one to sit on his lap. “What did my baby brother give to you, hyung?”

“One last kiss,” Sungwoon answered truthfully.

“Ack!” Seongwoo screamed. “That can’t happen! I’m jealous.” He whined as he pressed smooches to his fiancé’s face.

 

And Daniel just smiled. Even as the scene hurt him more than hits and punches, he should endure it. After all, he was the one who introduced his brother to his long-time best friend.

**-**

**-**

**-**

* * *

 

 **three:** I’ll remember (625w)

 

“Daniel hyung, someone is here to see you.” Someone poked their head in between the door. “Should I let him in?”

“I told you, I’m busy right now,” He said, didn’t even look up from the stacks of documents he needed to sort out. Running a dance studio wasn’t all dancing and dancing, he had to deal with the official and formal stuffs which he had no interest on. However, without him handling these stuffs, his business would be crumbling down, what more, with all the competitions out there in this entertainment industry. 

“Yeah, I know,” Jihoon said, “But,” He entered the room and leaned closer, whispering, “It’s an old man? I don’t have the heart to kick him out.”

Daniel frowned. What an old man? “Look, just show that man the sign ‘no salesperson allowed’ and tell him that you’re doing your work.”

“He’s not a salesman.” Jihoon insisted, “That ahjusshi was wearing the clothes you’d wear for farming.”

Oh. Daniel’s busy hands halted from their work. _Oh_.

“Let him in.”

 

“You seem busy,” Grandpa Ha said as Jihoon invited him inside Daniel’s office. “I didn’t want to intrude but…”

“No, no, it’s okay, _halbeoji_.” Daniel stood up and went over to give him a hug. Grandpa Ha returned it anyway and patted Daniel’s sides. “I’ve been meaning to visit you anyway, but,” He gestured to his messy office and winced, “I’m sorry that you have to go all the way to Seoul like this.”

When Jihoon lingered around, Daniel pushed him out of the room and closed the door. “How are you doing these days?” He asked.

Grandpa Ha, instead of answering Daniel’s question, just stared at the young man. He dropped to the seat Daniel showed him to and seemed to be in a deep thought. Daniel became restless just waiting for his response. “Ah, what’s wrong with me,” He giggled to himself, “I’ll fix you a drink, halbeoji. What would you like—”

“Euigeon,” He called, not using Daniel because the English pronunciation rolled weirdly from his tongue. Daniel hummed as he went over to the heater anyway to boil some hot water for a cup of coffee or tea for the elder. “I’ll just be honest here.”

 

“It’s about Sungwoon hyung, isn’t it?” He asked, smiling sadly at Sungwoon’s grandfather.

Grandpa Ha nodded his head, “I want to properly bury him.”

 

“No—” When his tone appeared apprehensive, Daniel worded it out again, “I mean, halbeoji. Hyung is doing fine. The machines are working well, giving him the nutrients he needed. He’s all fine. I don’t think it’s,” His voice cracked, and he paused, “He’s _not_ dead.”

“I know, Euigeon, I know how you’d take it but,” The old man seemed so tired. Daniel’s heart ached even more. “It’s been three years. It’s useless now.”

“I have the money,” Daniel said firmly. “We never know if hyung would wake up soon.”

“It’s been three years. He was pronounced brain dead _three_ years ago.”

“He’s still alive. Hyung is—” He shut his eyes, stopped talking for a while, trying to wave the tears away. “I was too busy with the studio to visit these days and—I’ll visit more often after this—just—”

“The hospital called me. They said they needed the space, and the equipment for someone else. It’s been three years, Euigeon. I want to properly mourn him.”

“He is not dead, halbeoji. No, I’m the one paying for everything and the hospital can just shut their—I’ll talk to them,” He told Grandpa Ha. “Please, trust me.”

“You did your best, Euigeon, and I’m thankful for that. But it’s time to say goodbye now. You’ve worked hard, my grandchild. It’s time to rest and move on.”

**-**

**-**

**-**

* * *

 

 **four** : one’s place (404w)

 

“I still love you.”

“I—”

“And I know, now is the worst timing ever,” The sounds of guns firing and dynamites blowing could be heard from a distance. Sungwoon winced. He was running out of time. He didn’t have any time to begin with, any time to spare. He was the Team’s Alpha and this was so unprofessional for him to be doing in the middle of this important mission.

He was reminded of the radio they’re attached to, how everyone in headquarters and those who shared the station as them could hear it all. _Everyone_.

“Hyung,” Daniel called, foregoing any formality at the moment. “Hyung, please.”

 

“I love you.” Sungwoon said, with more confidence this time. “I love you. I still do. After all these times, these years, even after,” A pause. “Even after I—” He couldn’t continue. Daniel didn’t blame him. “I just needed you to know.”

“Does it have to take me being shot in the heart for you to tell me this?” Daniel laughed, before coughing. Blood.

“Shut up,” Sungwoon cried, “They didn’t get your heart. They’re not good shooters, not like me.”

“You would know, captain,” Daniel rebutted, “You’re good at breaking my heart.”

“Stop talking, you’d ended up dying faster,” Sungwoon hissed. More guns. Someone reported something over his ear device. He needed to act fast. “I need to go out there,” He told Daniel.

“Don’t go.”

“I have to.”

“I love you.”

“I know.” Daniel smiled at him. His eyes were losing their focus. Sungwoon fixed the cover on Daniel’s wound and he couldn’t stop his tears. “I’m sorry. I love you. Please don’t die.”

“I have nothing to lose, hyung, Sungwoon-ah,” Daniel coaxed out, “But you need to live. You still have people waiting for you. Minhyun hyung is waiting for you. Your husband, _shit_ ,” Daniel laughed dryly, cries deluding his words, “Minhyun hyung is probably listening to this crap, _I’m sorry, hyung_.” He directed to the radio.

 

“Shut up,” Minhyun replied in his static voice. “Stop wasting your breath. Hang in there and I’ll kill you when you get back here,” He joked. And to Sungwoon, he added, “He’s right, Sungwoon hyung. There’s an exit at the back. Don’t go out, it’s basically an open fire out there. Help will be stationed soon. Don’t act hasty.”

More coughing. More blood. Daniel’s eyes kept on shutting.

“I love you.” He said to Sungwoon. “ _Always_.”

-

-

-

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let us ache together. there would be eleven of these.  
> stream 'spring breeze' by wanna one and 'i hate you' by hotshot.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5\. one love  
> 6\. always  
> 7\. awake!  
> 8\. boomerang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> five to eight.  
> out of eleven.

* * *

**_Nielwoon Angst Drabble!_ **

**-**

**-**

**-**

**five** : one love (771w)

 

And. That was it. The end.

The real, true end to everything.

When 31st December came, they were still under the pretence and consolation that they still had time—time preparing for the concert, for their last performances, still a month away from the real separation. Although they were constantly reminded of the big D word throughout the last month of the year, on award shows and year-end song festivals alike, it hadn’t really hit them yet.

But now. The concert was also… _that was it_. They’d burned their last firework. It was up there, it was beautiful while it lasted, but… once it faded into the night sky, darkness took over. Again.

Sungwoon had everything packed. Bags of luggage lined up by the wall of his room, boxes of fan gifts, stuffs he’d bought, given by the members, all ready to be deported away from his home. His manager, Sihyun hyung, gave him a sympathetic look. He had done this a few times, once with Taehyun, and another one with Hojung. It was never easy to see that look on the boys’ faces.

He looked around the room, taking in the sight of the once-sanctuary of Sungwoon, before grabbing the heavier stuffs, leaving only two light boxes for Sungwoon. “I’ll be going down first. Call me if you need me?”

“…Thank you, hyung,” Sungwoon replied.

 

And from his bed, someone sniffled into his fan-made blanket, the one with Platinum WoonTM plastered on it.

“Are you going now?” Daniel asked solemnly. He was lying on the bed, sans the sheet. He never thought that January would be this cruel to him. Sungwoon looked at him with a similar set of expression—uncertainty, hopelessness, and fear. If anyone spotted the evident pout and his swollen eyes, they said nothing of it. Not when everyone was looking like death themselves.

“You know it’s not the end,” Sungwoon said to him. They’d made promises—their bond was ever-so-strong to be disposing of each other’s memories just yet. Sungwoon had already made plans to meet up with some of the boys—going on a bro date with Seongwoo that weekend, movies with Daehwi and Jinyoung the day after tomorrow, and the promise of their routine games with Jihoon and Woojin.

Daniel chuckled softly, “Yeah, but what about me?”

 

 _Right_. Like the sky flowers, it was spectacular, burning, while it bloomed. Sungwoon had spent months, almost a year, trying not to fall for Daniel, but halfway through, he decided ‘fuck it’ and kissed Daniel when he least expected it.

Then, it was months of blissed touches, warm whispers into the night, sinful moans and unbeatable pleasure just spending the day next to him. With him.

 

 _‘What about you?’_ Sungwoon wanted to ask—but even for him, that’d be too harsh. So instead, he said, “Nothing will change. We’ll still keep in touch.”

Daniel sighed. Sungwoon knew that that wasn’t what he meant. Their unconfirmed relationship—their unlabelled ties— _what are they_? Lovers? Members who occasionally fuck each other?

 

Minhyun came into the room the next second, Jonghyun following in tow. The topic was diverted just like that and Sungwoon never knew that he’d be thankful for that disruption. Sungwoon’s phone rung and he knew that his time was running, it was Sihyun hyung. Farewells were kept short, replaced by ‘see you soon’ and ‘talk to you later’.

And when Daniel was distracted by the two Nu’est members, Sungwoon took his chance to walk out.

 

Outside, he let out a huge sigh. His eyes were teary, _damn it_ , and his lips were trembling. What he showed before, on shows and in front of the rest of the members, was honestly just a façade. Frankly, for him, he was the most scared. Of another looming tunnel, filled with vagueness and anxiety. _And_. Leaving behind a promising bond with someone he’d never ever find a replace for.

The door opened again, and Jaehwan came out, equipped with his guitar and a box in his hand. He also, was leaving. The boxes in Sungwoon’s hands almost covered his face, and he took advantage of it, hiding behind it. Jaehwan sighed, and it seemed that it was one of the common things they boys had been doing lately.

“Come and escort me down, hyung,” Jaehwan pulled him and finally, Sungwoon’s legs started moving. With a final glance, he looked at the closed door and… locked his feelings in a tight crest, deep inside his heart. He stored it for another time—when they’re both ready—and until then, it’s…best to…not do anything…

_Goodbye, my love. Your star will keep on shining._

**-**

**-**

**-**

* * *

  

 **six** : always (589w)

 

Sungwoon had been getting paler and paler all day. He was uncharacteristically…trembly. All of his usual grace gone, and it was apparent in the reflection of the practice room. The other trainees, they meant well, everyone was basically fighting for survival here—and friendship was often buried under spotlights and screen time.

Practice was priority, and they were trying to make the entire team benefits from it by practicing hard, memorising the choreography, singing your absolute best, putting your emotion onto your performance… but Sungwoon was spiralling down.

He didn’t want to be a burden—no more episodes of breaking down needed here. At this point of the leg, every single incident could be made a drama, and worse, it could kill him of the chance being in the top 11. So, when his breath was getting shorter and raspier, he made an excuse to Jonghyun, the team leader, to get some break.

“Sure, hyung, take care of yourself,” was Jonghyun’s parting words. “I’ll wake you up a bit later. Go to the dorm for a proper rest.”

 

But Sungwoon didn’t go to the dorms. He was in too much pain, he couldn’t even bring himself there. Quickly, he dashed, closed himself inside one of the individual practice rooms—he could hear Jaehwan belting out the notes for ‘Hands on Me’ in the next room, and Samuel and Daehwi counting steps for ‘Super Hot’ choreo in the open lounge.

The dulling pain began intensifying, and breathing seemed like an insuperable task. Numb, clouded, his vision was fading, and Sungwoon dropped to a lying position, on his side. That helped, but only a tad bit. _Breathe in, breathe out, in and out, in, out_ …

Warm hands—now cold, shivering, and Sungwoon realised that another attack was coming, no, already here. The voices—they returned and _fuck_ , he didn’t have time for this!

 

“Sungwoon hyung?”

Bad dreams… the bad dreams came back, scene by scene, strip by strip, they flashed by his eyes. Deafening silence turned to a loud beep and he could barely realise another person’s presence in the room.

“D-don’t tell people,” He rasped out. It was Daniel, light hair, big build, gentle touch, not a lot of them were left and Sungwoon could at least recognised his concern voice. The door was shut once more, and then a pair of hands gathered his weak body and supported him against his chest.

“I’m here, I’m here, hyung.” Hand caressing his head, another one, holding his hand, acting as a source of warmth. Sungwoon’s breath evened out, trying to focus on the syllables coming out of Daniel’s mouth. “I’m with you,” The fogged in his head cleared up and he closed his eyes, letting the gleaming tears fall down. “You’re fine, you’re alright, you’re perfect.”

He thought of his efforts, coming here—all the battles he risked it all for—the recognition he got, the support from the people around him, their prayers, their trusts in him, “I will see you on more shows next year”, “I’ll only come and see it for you”, “It’ll be alright, if it’s all fated”, and Sungwoon knew, it was all just a ball of fabricated insecurities…just an old friend trying to drag him into the misery again.

And it wouldn’t happen. Not if he forbids it.

 

“My hyung,” Daniel echoed into the narrow space, “My small and precious, hyung…”

“Niel,” He called, hand lightly tapping Daniel’s that was holding him safe. He nodded his head and slumped back onto Daniel’s hold. “Thank you…”

-

-

-

* * *

 

 **seven** : awake! (329w)

 

 _Such a beauty, what a view_ , his eyes followed Sungwoon’s movement religiously. The way Sungwoon giggled into the crook of his neck, breathing out warm gasps against his skin—and it spurted similar boisterous laughter from Daniel. His hands went over to his back, rubbing, and feeling his muscles straining resulted from his oscillating movement up and down.

 _Raw skin on naked body. Bodies touching, scents mingling, sins escalating_ —and Daniel threw it all away, the doubts, the bad thoughts, his hesitance, the guilt…

His hands travelled across the span of Sungwoon’s body, memorising every curve, committing each line to his memory—he utilised his senses—eyes, nose, mouth, ears, his touch, glorifying Sungwoon and his amazing body. Overwhelming, Sungwoon’s beauty, and Daniel had to close his eyes, indulging every breath and every second of it.

 

“I can’t believe you really picked Sungwoon hyung as your subject.” Woojin commented from the side, eyes glazing over at the upright easel, with a canvas of painting manifesting one naked portrait of Sungwoon. Feeling embarrassed, he looked away immediately. “I mean, doesn’t it feel awkward?”

“We’re professionals,” Daniel explained, “He’s my muse after all. The colours just come alive when it’s Sungwoon hyung.”

“Yeah, but,” Woojin sighed, “It’s…different, isn’t it?”

“It’s not different. It’s nothing but work for me, and free food for hyung.” Daniel defended, still examining his masterpiece. No, not yet a masterpiece, he picked on inside his head. Something was missing, off, imperfect… Sungwoon’s entire being was heaven-sent and his painting did that no justice.

“It’s fine already,” The younger one offered when he noticed the creases on Daniel’s forehead. Daniel shook his head and slumped in his seat. “Hyung, you better—”

“This is not it. I have to burn this one too.” Daniel sighed. He muted Woojin’s disapprovals and instead reached out for his phone, asking Sungwoon out for another date. This time, he needs to make sure that he maps every wonder of Sungwoon’s body perfectly.

**-**

**-**

**-**

* * *

 

 **eight** : boomerang (568w)

 

Skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony wood.

 

You know how the story goes—an evil queen, jealous of her own child, albeit not blood-related, and sent her off to the jungle to be killed. There’s a magic mirror involved—a poisoned apple, and seven dwarves.

Now—Daniel knew how the fairy tale went, and when he received the order from the Queen himself, he had to look twice. “The prince?” He asked. “But why?”

The queen stared at him, and with a voice as dark as the forbidden forest, ordered him to seal his mouth and just complete his task. Daniel, heart heavy with the burden of the new mission, walked out of the castle after bowing to her highness.

“When the universe is aligned, and darkness covers our earth, take him to the forest.”

He paused, steps halted, and she continued, “Bring me back his heart.”

 

In the garden, he saw, the prince himself, talking to a sparrow and a rabbit. Odd, but people have snakes for pets now, Daniel thought. From afar, he observed him—you know, to help ease the task, after all, princes were not commoners, they received military trainings from a young age and the Crown Prince was known for his agility and skilled swordsmanship.

The prince noticed him staring. And turned around. “Oh, Daniel!” He called.

What the queen did not know was that Daniel and Sungwoon were, _are_ , lovers. The kitchen lady’s son grew up to be a huntsman and had years of history with the son of the kingdom. Although he was away for most of the years, when he came home, to Sungwoon would he return first. She was new, the little secret couldn’t possibly reach her.

 

Daniel bowed to him, and Sungwoon beamed when he noticed his state, unscratched despite the harsh snowstorms in the northern kingdoms. “Did you get anything for me?” He asked. His animals scurried off into the woods and Daniel shook his head. Sungwoon’s pout appeared. “Oh, oh well,” He trailed, barely masking his disappointment, “Can’t be helped then.”

Months, seasons, passed, and Daniel wanted so badly to scoop him into his embrace. Kiss him senseless, carve his body with his marks, and…and he had to kill him. Cut out his heart and present it to the new ruler of the empire.

 

“Let’s go on a date,” Daniel asked, still some distance away from the prince. “Next week, during the festival.”

Sungwoon took a step closer. Daniel moved away backwards. “Your new mom is watching,” He reminded him. And Sungwoon just scoffed, rolling his eyes. But still, he understood and kept his distance. The new queen was…not fond of him and he knew how it could affect Daniel when he’s working directly under her monarchy.

With Sungwoon’s back turning towards him, Daniel could finally breathe and let his expressions fell. “Will you bring me to see the eclipse?” Sungwoon asked, giddiness apparent in his voice even though Daniel had rejected his affection.

“I’ll take you to the moon, to the star, wherever it’ll take for you to be happy.”

“The cold city doesn’t freeze the cringes, huh,” Sungwoon joked. “Okay, Mr. Huntsman, I’ll see you then.”

 

Skin as white as snow, lips as red as blood, and hair as black as ebony wood.

And inside the jewelled box, Daniel presented the queen, a heart.

-

-

-

* * *

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 워너원 영원하자


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 9\. the twelfth star  
> 10\. hide and seek, part one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nine to ten.  
> out of eleven.

* * *

**_Nielwoon Angst Drabble!_ **

**-**

**-**

**-**

**nine:** the twelfth star (542w)

 

The little kid was a split image of his father.

Full hair, a whole nest on top of his head. Daniel would argue that he had thin hair as a kid but everyone saw his kindergarten-days pictures at least once in their lives. Small, but sharp eyes, with a tiny mole underneath it. He was a bit scaled to the chubby side too, as both of his parents once were.

Daniel lost his additional weight during the time he breakdanced and even made a habit to work out crazily in the gym. Sungwoon was more reluctant to go to the gym but he was disciplined enough to go on a diet, on multiple diets even.

Anyway. A kid was born. Sungwoon had him when he was on his last semester, having to stand up on that podium, received his special awards during graduation, carrying another life in his belly. He wasn’t fully showing back then and had dismissed his friends’ teases on his bloated face as another effect of late-night snacking. Once the ceremony was over, Sungwoon had thrown up in the toilet.

Daniel didn’t know. _How could Sungwoon ever do that to him?_ He was just being scouted by a dance team—a well-established one. He was even working on a choreography for an idol group, while envying them at the same time. He didn’t know.

Also, they weren’t even together. Daniel had a girlfriend.

 

Sungwoon lied to his friends—said he had accepted a job in Japan, courtesy of a hyung. He downed a shot in his ‘farewell party’ and ended up vomiting his entire dinner out in the back alley. He was mad—at himself, at Daniel, at his annoying girlfriend who was obviously with him just because it was convenient.

Sungwoon did some ugly crying there too, crouching down to hold his stomach. Feeling sorry that he’d hoped for the little kid to die. Back then, he drank the soju glass handed to him, a baby’s health was far from his mind. And so, after that day, Sungwoon left on a plane (only to return back a few weeks before he was due).

Ha Yul entered the world one Autumn Day. And he continued growing up each day flourish and showered with love by his family.

 

_“It’s been so long.”_

_“Hey, how have you been?”_

_“Long time no see!”_

 

The group of friends had an impromptu reunion during the opening ceremony of Jisung’s café. The ‘little kids’ who were still in university just joked amongst themselves when the last time they’d seen each other was during Prof Kim’s Music Composition class that morning. And when Ha Sungwoon came in with a small kid attached to his hip—he was hugging his baby sideways—all conversations ceased down.

When Daniel, with an engagement ring strapped to his finger looked at the baby, something tugged in his heartstrings. After everyone got over their shocks and began smouldering the little kid with attention, someone gathered up their courage and asked Sungwoon who’s the other parent of the baby.

Sungwoon looked at them and gave his best smile. As he raked Yul’s hair to the side, the baby grinned cutely at his father’s affection. Sungwoon answered with a half-remorse response, “He died.”

-

-

-

* * *

  

 **ten:** hide and seek; part one (982w)

_prologue to[this](https://archiveofourown.org/works/18177857)_

_Even when the morning comes, and I open my eyes. I will live as I breathe, right?_

 

Sungwoon looked at Daniel who was still sleeping peacefully under the covers. He was such an unattractive sleeper, with his unshut mouth and limbs that tousled out of the duvet. He contemplated not waking him but Sungwoon knew the consequences of that. Daniel would probably chase him down at the studio. He was a whiny kid like that.

“Wake up, handsome,”

A grunt, “I don’t want to wake up.” For someone who didn’t want to wake up, his words seemed coherent enough. He opened an eye, peeking through his lashes. Sungwoon was on top of him, having dropping his entire weight on his boyfriend.

“Where did you go?” Daniel asked, probably seeing how properly dressed Sungwoon was. His hair was still a bird-nest, Sungwoon had given up on it, but he’d washed up nicely after himself. He’d put on some lotion, brushed his teeth and changed into a comfortable attire.

Sungwoon wasn’t from anywhere, but he was just about to leave. “I need to leave,” He told Daniel so, relishing how his eyes blinked to push away strands of Sungwoon’s hair away from his face. Sungwoon added, “I need to finish recording something.”

“It can wait,” Daniel said, proving that it would be a hard task for Sungwoon to escape his hug. Daniel felt amazing, warm and secure, all welcoming for Sungwoon.

But Sungwoon had to do this—he needed to be disciplined and pushed away all of Daniel’s temptation. “I’m serious,” An apologetic kiss on his lover’s lips— _how Sungwoon wished he could stay longer with him_. Waking up with Daniel was the best thing in the world. But. “I need to go, baby. I’ll be back soon.”

 

-

 

Sungwoon had just hung up from a phone call with his sound producer. The hyung revealed that something went wrong and he needed to record some parts again. _Massive headache_ —Sungwoon was torn into rushing back into the studio or to just enjoy his time with Daniel.

Said man was giggling, looking at a funny-shaped snowman he’d crafted. _What a kid_.

As childish as he acts most of the times, Daniel’s presence had helped Sungwoon a lot. He was a constant mystery for Sungwoon; he could discover new things about his lover each day he spent with him.

They were always together before and Sungwoon was bound to fall for him. He remembered denying his feelings, accepting that Daniel’s admiration for him was that of a younger friend. But Daniel was persistent and Sungwoon slowly acknowledged that his sincerity entailed something more than a normal friendship.

“Hyung, what are you doing?” Daniel asked him. “Come here and play with me!” He hollered.

 _Right_ —spend time with Daniel it would be. He could deal with the song later. How could he ever turn down Daniel’s invitation when he was looking at him with that expressions on his face? Sungwoon called out, “I’m coming!” and quickly sent a message to the hyung. _‘I’ll come back first thing tomorrow morning.’_

When he told Daniel that they had to cut their trip short, the younger one was definitely unamused. He almost threw tantrums like the kid in the adjacent table during their dinner. Sungwoon held his hand and kissed it tenderly—hoping that Daniel would understand— _it’d be worth it in the end._

 _Wait for me_.

 

 

The more Sungwoon spent time in the recording studio, trying to finish his special project as fast as he could before Daniel finds out, the less time he spent with his lover. He was aware that Daniel didn’t like it, had started to grow suspicious of him. Like Sungwoon could ever love someone else than him.

The stress and pressure, everything made Sungwoon more annoyed. Especially when Daniel questioned what he was doing that day, or where did he go, who did he go with—questions like that. He was doubting Sungwoon, did not even trust him even when he truthfully said that he was cooped his studio all day long.

Sungwoon tried so hard too—so he wouldn’t disappoint. He was afraid if Daniel would say no. If what he was trying to do had sacrificed their relationship instead of building it further. However, after months of hard work and fights—of sleepless nights and days without Kang Daniel, the song was completed.

With a shaky hand, Sungwoon typed the folder’s name. Everything was for Daniel. _Everything_.

 

-

 

It happened in a split second? One moment he was there, the next, he was lying on the crossroad. With his blood trickling, flooring the tar with red.

Sungwoon was still breathing, had even cracked some jokes with Seongwu on his way to the hospital. It was his first time riding an ambulance, he told his friend as Seongwu tried to hold tightly onto his hand. _It hurt_ —Seongwu’s grip, but Sungwoon guessed that any form of pain would be better than feeling nothing at all.

Seongwu was trying to contact someone, Daniel maybe. And Sungwoon decided to let him be.

His head hurt. He could barely open his eyes, even when Seongwu was shaking him awake. Everything hurt. He wondered if it’d be his last day alive.

Sungwoon cried. All of those sacrifices for nothing? How could this happen—when all he wanted was to at least walk down the aisle with Daniel next to him? To spend his life with him. To tell him he loves him every day, with his entire body and soul.

“Seongwu—” Sungwoon called, grasping emptily into the air. Seongwu quickly pushed his hand onto his palm, assuring Sungwoon that ‘ _I’m here, I’m here, hyung’_. “T-tell Daniel, tell him, I—”

“Hyung—”

“I love him. Tell Niel that—” _Why did his head feel so heavy?_ “I want to marry him, Seongwu-yah. Tell him that.”

-

-

-

* * *

 


End file.
